Let's Talk
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: It's best to just sit down and talk about this a moment, yes? oOo A story trade with HealerKira on DeviantArt. She requested LuigiXBowser, and she got LuigiXBowser. So the warning here is LuigiXBowser. Nothing too bad, just very light fluff. Don't like the idea, then don't read or comment. Otherwise, if you're curious, read and critique please. oOo


**** Story Trade: LuigiXBowser challenge. You have been warned. Light fluff, nothing major. ****

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"Now, Princess, don't make such a fuss! You're normally very happy that your old Bowser has come for you!"

The blonde princess didn't reply. Instead, she weakly punched at the Koopa king's shoulder, making no vocal sound at all.

Bowser rolled his eyes as he approached the cell normally reserved for the woman, "Now, now, I'd like for you to wait here for a bit, m'kay? You old Bowsie's gotta go make a few plans for your first night back! Gwahaha!"

He gently set the princess down on her feet in the cell, standing in front of her for a moment as if he expected a response. After getting none, the beast snorted and backed out of the cell, closing it with a swing of his arm and locking it securely before thundering off down the hall.

The pink gowned princess slowly lifted his head, shuffling over to the bars to look down the hall both ways. Confirming that the path was clear, he reached up and grabbed his hair, yanking the wig from his head and throwing it to the floor.

"I don't know what kinds of 'plans' he had in mind. Eugh!" Luigi shivered, tugging the dress he wore and tearing the velcro in the back. He slowly wiggled his way out of it, letting the fabric that mocked Princess Peach's attire fall onto the dirtied floor so that be stood happily in his own overalls. Luigi snatched his hat from his back pocket and fixated it on his head, standing proudly, "Feels so good to be back in my own outfit! Never, ever will I wear a dress again!" he stated, though deep inside he knew he'd probably end up wearing a dress again in the future.

He whipped a lock pick from his other pocket, skipping over to the lock. His eyes squinched as he felt around the lock face through the bars, tapping the lock pick on the metal before he finally managed to get it inside. Luigi probed around with the lock pick, twisting and shoving for countless minutes. Occasionally, he would jump and scamper back into the middle of the cell, thinking the sounds the lock made were guards or even Bowser coming down the hall. Each time he noticed everything was clear, he just as quickly leaped back to the lock and fiddled with the pick.

"Dang it," he growled, "how come Waluigi can do this with ease but I can't even—"

Just then, the lock clicked loudly and the cell door bounced open. Luigi yanked his arm back through the bars, staring at the door in shock.

"Aw yeah, that was easy!" Luigi bragged, pushing the door open and sauntering into the hall, "Now, to get out of Bowser's castle alive..." he sighed.

Luigi's brown shows clicked softly as he made his way down the halls of Bowser's chambers. It was weird, being able to roam so freely. The lack of guards surprised the Italian, though he was pleased he wouldn't have to battle so much just to get out.

He finally found the exit from Bowser's dungeon, stepping from the wooden door out into the lavishly decorated halls of the actual castle. He scoffed at the dated decor of Bowser-esque gargoyles and statues.

"Bowser really needs to get with the times." Luigi muttered, wandering towards where he remembered the exit of the castle was.

However, his mindless saunter was interrupted by the sound of nearing footsteps, monstrous and loud. Luigi paled as he looked around for a spot to hide, cursing the hall lacking large pots or rooms to duck into.

He settled for running away. A spin of his heel and he dashed down the hall opposite of the footsteps, running as fast as his chubby legs could go.

"Hey! You!" he heard, "Stop right there, Lima Bean!"

Luigi glanced over his shoulder, eyes widening when he registered the sight as Bowser charging after him. Even from the other end of the hall, the king's sharp, bared fangs could be seen clear as day.

He looked forward again, just to focus on his running. Another long hallway was his route, though he felt it would only make him lost in this dreary place.

"Stop right there, bugger!" Bowser's voice boomed.

"Make me!" Luigi called back over his shoulder, only to trip over a fold in the long rug on the floor. He landed on his face, body flinging upwards from the velocity of his run before it fell into the carpet behind him.

Bowser quickly caught up to him, growling and panting, "So, Luigi, here to rescue Peach by yourself, eh?"

Luigi slowly lifted his head, rolling over onto his back and propping himself up on his arms, "Actually, Bowser, the one you kidnapped was me."

Bowser curled his eyebrows in confusion, "I did not. I swear I have Peach!"

"No, that was me in a costume of Peach." Luigi growled and stood up, brushing himself off, "They needed a decoy princess for that stupid parade of hers and I just so happened to be chosen by everyone and made to do it against my will."

"I don't believe you." Bowser hissed, turning around, "Stay right there!" he demanded before storming off towards his dungeons.

Luigi sighed and slowly trotted after him. "Such a daft Koopa. He knows I won't obey his order."

The plumber kept his distance long enough to return to the hall he had originally been walking down. With no sight of Bowser, he safely assumed it was alright to head on.

Halfway down the hall, though, he felt a clawed hand grab his arm and jerk him back.

"Okay, fair game, you bastard," Bowser spat, "But you know what? I'll just keep you prisoner instead!"

"P-please don't!" Luigi begged, struggling against Bowser's grip, "Just let me go!"

"No!" Bowser dragged Luigi in the opposite direction, "I already kidnapped you, may as well not let my time go to waste!"

"Please, King Bowser! Just let me go! I'm sorry you didn't get Peach, I-I really didn't want to do what I did!"

"Well, should have been a little more forceful with your 'no' then!"

Luigi fell to his knees, letting Bowser drag him along the carpet, "Let me go, let me go!" He suddenly gasped when he realized the two were headed in the direction of the king's bedroom, "D-don't rape me! Please! Can't we talk this out?!"

"Whaddya mean by 'talk it out?'" Bowser roared, "I have better things to do than talk!"

"But Bowser, I don't have anything against you!" Luigi tried, "At least, nothing too much. I mean, c'mon, can't we just have a heartfelt discussion about this?! I mean, you must feel really upset that you don't have Peach right now!"

"Damn right I'm upset about that!" Bowser threw the door to his room open, "And frankly I just want to let my frustrations out!"

Luigi finally managed to yank his arm free, jumping to his feet and holding his hands up, "Now Bowser, don't make me trounce you!"

The beast laughed, "Like you could! You're weaker than Mario!"

"W-well," Luigi sputtered, "s-so are you!"

Bowser paused in his action to snag Luigi's arm again, leaning back and widening his eyes, "W-what?!"

"You're weaker than Mario just as I am." Luigi fiddled with his hands, "You've beaten him, what, once? And even then it wasn't with your own power, it was the Star Rod."

"B-buh..." Bowser trailed off, nostrils flaring as he looked at the floor, huffing angrily, "...okay, you're right."

"Besides, wouldn't it just be easier to tell Peach how you feel about her? Or, just accept she doesn't like you and move on?"

The king glared at him, "Now why would I do that?"

Luigi backed away slightly, "Because, you're getting on up there in age. Wouldn't it be a little sad if you died knowing you spent the majority of your life kidnapping Peach and getting beat up by her savior? Or knowing that it's not..." Luigi hesitated, "...true love if you try to force her to like you? I mean one that psychologically hard to do and—"

Bowser replied with a low growl, crossing his arms, "Alright, I get it. But that doesn't mean I'm just gonna give up!"

"Maybe we should talk about this," Luigi carefully reached forward, wrapping both of his hands around the king's and gently leading him to his bed, "maybe we can find an alternative to what you want."

"There can't be an alternative!" Bowser argued, flopping onto his bed, "I can't just give up with Peach and move on!"

"Yes you can," Luigi crawled onto one of Bowser's desk chairs, "I know you can. Things just need to slowly change for you." The plumber curled his mustache in thought, "Now, what can I tell you...Peach is a...curious person. Mario would love to be her husband just as much as you do. And from how often he saves her, you'd think she'd want him as well, yes?"

Bowser grunted, slowly nodding.

"Well," Luigi kicked his legs, "she doesn't. She likes to tease Mario, lead him on, so to say. Peach just likes Mario as a friend, and she doesn't really show any interest in being with anyone in general."

"Does that mean she could actually like me?" Bowser asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ahhhh..." Luigi laughed nervously, "...no. See, Peach...how do I put this...just doesn't want a guy. At least that's what she told me once. She thinks she's better on her own."

"Hnn, how's that supposed to help me?" Bowser glanced at Luigi.

"Well, um...I'm not good with putting my ideas into words, but...if you love Peach and want her to be happy, let her be. Besides, you could be happy knowing my brother cries over her a lot."

"Is that so?" Bowser sat up, curious, "So wait, she doesn't like Mario either?"

Luigi frowned, "That's what I just said."

"Still doesn't make me feel any different."

"Well..."

Luigi went on to explain what Bowser could do to get over his desire for the princess, sharing stories of personal experience to hopefully make his point better. Bowser appeared to be listening intently to every word the Italian said, occasionally butting in to share his own thoughts on something.

Hours passed as the conversation changed to Luigi's inability to speak up for himself. How it got to that, the plumber had no idea. He wanted to ask in the middle of Bowser giving him some tips on standing up, but quickly dropped the question in favor of keeping the discussion flowing.

Late into the night, the two exchanged thoughts and stories. During that time, Luigi came to realize Bowser's true character—he was just a lonely creature who just wanted company other than his own race. Nothing more.

"Bowser?" Luigi piped up, "From our talk...has it changed your mind in anyway?"

Bowser cocked his head, "About?"

"Peach."

The Koopa shrugged, "I guess it has. As much as I'd still like her, I'm not so sure about it now..."

"I think you're just lonely." Luigi smiled, "And that you need talks like this more often. Some new friends, if you will."

"Friends?" Bowser hummed, "Well, I could go for that..."

"I can be your first one, to start," Luigi offered, "and maybe you can find others. Or maybe you can find your true soulmate!"

"I like that idea, actually," Bowser laughed, "I really like that! You are my first new friend!"

Luigi smiled, "I'm glad we could come to this agreement." He shimmied himself off the chair and stood before the Koopa king, "Now...it's late and I should be getting home..."

"You're leaving?" Bowser whispered, face visibly dropping, "B-but I don't want you to leave..."

The green clad male blushed slightly, "Bowser, I have to get some sleep at home. I can always come back tomorrow and—"

"Now, why should you go all the way home just to sleep? Why not...sleep here?" Bowser jumped up and patted his bed.

"It's nice of you to offer, Lord Bowser, but I really should get home. My brother must be fretting about me. But I swear, I'll drop by and talk to you tomorrow."

"Oh...alright." Bowser glared, "Promise?"

"Promise." Luigi nervously laughed, "If I'm not here by noon you can come by and kidnap me."

Bowser snorted, "I quite like that actually."

"Good!" The plumber began towards the door, pausing halfway to look back, "Um, can you walk me out?" he asked sheepishly.

"Oh, sure. I know my castle is confusing sometimes."

The two slowly made their way to the exit, sharing a couple more stories along the way.

Once outside, they faced each other and shook hands.

"I'll be back at noon tomorrow!" Luigi promised again, "Don't look so sad, Bowser..."

"I-I'm not!" Bowser defended, "I just...feel like that's gonna be a long time."

Luigi thought a second, "Kneel down a moment."

"W-wha?"

"Kneel down."

Confusedly, Bowser slowly knelt down just as Luigi told him to. The man blushed slightly before leaning forward, placing a gentle kiss on the Koopa king's snout.

He stepped away, blushing harder and fidgeting, "There. That swears that I will be here."

Bowser awkwardly rubbed where Luigi had kissed him, seemingly dazed and giddy. "Okay..."

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Luigi patted the beast's shoulder before making his way to the path back home. Bowser stood back on his feet, watching as the man half-skipped away towards the woods that would take him home.

As Luigi passed a dark purple bush, another man slowly poked his skinny face out of the leaves, narrowing his tired eyes after him and smirking deviously.

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****My end of a story trade with HealerKira on DeviantArt**

**But anyway, she wanted to see how I could write LuigiXBowser. Frankly, I'm not used to anything other than WaluigiXLuigi, so this was new to me. Of course I just had to throw Wally in some how, as seen at the end. I had a few plot ideas, but I settled for this one. Just because.**

**Critiques are welcome. And no, "THIS SUX WRITE LUIGIXDAISY" is not critique. That's called fuel to write more WaluigiXLuigi. ****


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